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My Husband Has Cheated On Me But I Do Not Believe In Divorce Please Advise



Good day,

I need advise. I have been married for 7 years. I have a son who is 6 years old. My husband and I have been having issues since day 1 of our marriage. I noticed he was cheating from the first day of our marriage. I saw on his phone chats, conversations with one woman.

That became the beginning of our troubles. I did not notice he was cheating before our marriage if not,I would not have married him. I was raised to see marriage as a sacred union. My parents were married for 43 years before my dad died 3 years ago.

I was not going to leave him cos he was cheating but I was upset cos I felt like he deceived me. All through our marriage, he cheated with several women. I thought having a baby would make things smoother but it didn’t.

By the third year, I was tired of treating myself for STDs ,so I stopped sleeping with him. That has been my marriage experience since day 1. I decided to focus on my son and myself. Whether he cheats or not…I decided to not bother.

My husband did not allow me stay on my own, he forced himself several times and I started thinking maybe it was time to leave the marriage cos I did not want to keep enduring rape in my own marriage.

The family supported him. That he is my husband and as long as we are married, he has right to sleep with me whether I like it or not. That was how I endured years of s*xual abuse in my marriage. I suffered in silence. I was not happy but I still stayed in the marriage.

Why did I stay? One: I do not believe in divorce….two: he is my legal husband and I cannot refuse him s*x as the bible says. In January this year, I found out that my husband got a woman on our street pregnant. He has a one year old daughter with the woman. For me, that was the straw that broke the Carmel’s back.

Since then, I have been saving up money to get an apartment, somewhere decent. That was when I met someone in a whatsapp group. He is a widower. His wife passed on 2 years ago. We both are active members of the group and when I made a comment on men who always cheat,he made a response that not all men are scum.

He private chatted me and we been close since then. He requested we meet in April. We met up in a restaurant and I am really happy I met him. He is warm and kind and very caring. He has been my friend and I really like him.

He then offered me to move into an apartment that is his since I been looking for money to move out. So he has houses in town and one of the apartment is vacant. I have gone to check the apartment and its really cool.

My only issue is, I know this: I know that moving into this man’s apartment means that he may want a relationship or s*x with me. He already told me he likes me alot and would love to take things to the next level…possibly a relationship when I divorce my husband. And I like him but I do not think I am ready for a divorce.

You see,I still do not believe in divorce. I can separate from him but I do not want to divorce cos the bible is against it. So, should I tell him that I am not going to divorce my husband or should I just move into the apartment and hope he does not feel I led him on?

I may never divorce and if I do…I will not remarry. That is what the bible says. I do not want this kind man will understand my choice….

I really need to move out of this place and the only money I have cannot get the type of decent place I would prefer. I think God sent this man to help me with the accommodation issue but he may be expecting me to return the favor s*xually….how do I avoid that?

Source: Nairaland

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